My cancerversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis.  It has been a whirlwind.  I am feeling really good about today even though this was the day that my life was flipped upside down. This word cloud is a synopsis of the past year for me.  Crazy, right?

Thank you to my friends and family for your incredible support.  I have a new appreciation for the people in my life and feel so blessed.  There was no shortage of hugs and laughs when I needed them, rides to the hospital, cupcakes (DAD!), cards, flowers, and friends/family who would be at my side at the drop of a hat.   It's an incredible feeling to know so many people care about you.  I hope everyone could feel that way at some point in their life (minus cancer, of course).

I can't even begin to explain what a relief it is to be done with the past year.  I am not sad or angry about getting cancer.  It has refreshed my perspective on my life.  It has helped me to prioritize things a bit more.  I feel really strong and positive about the road ahead for me.

Moving ahead, I will be retiring my blog. It was very therapeutic for me to write my thoughts and to keep everyone in the loop but it's time for me to move on to something new.  Maybe I'll blog again but I don't envision it being about cancer.  This disease does not define who I am.  I'm still Heather -- market researcher, amateur cook, and lover of shoes.  I suppose I now can add breast cancer survivor to that list.

Thanks for reading and following my journey.

Love to you all!

HLD  

Wait -- what is that?

A year ago this week....I had just moved into a new apartment and was taking a staycation.  I scheduled a routine mammogram on Monday.  On Wednesday I happened to adjust my bra and I found a lump that I knew wasn't normal.  By Friday, I was having it checked out by my doctor.  

I've been reflecting on the past year and have been so surprised by myself. Honestly.  Did I really just go through that?  I kicked cancers ass, worked full-time and didn't let it stop me from laughing.  I'm pretty sure that there are super heros that don't have as much power as that. :)

November 1st is officially my cancerversery.   I am really looking forward to having that day behind me.   I feel stronger knowing that the past year is just a memory now.  Onwards and upwards!

Breast Cancer Awareness month is approaching

The month of October is quickly approaching and I have mixed feelings about it.  I absolutely love the fall in Chicago -- the cool, crisp air, watching the Chicago marathon, and Halloween.  But it is also the anniversary of when I found the dreaded lump, which has forever changed my life.

October is also breast cancer awareness month, another thing that I have been dreading.  I recall a couple of years ago the 'it' thing to do was post  your bra color on Facebook. I was baffled about what people were posting and then caught on.  The claim was that it helped raise awareness of breast cancer but I question how many people actually did anything as a result of posting their bra color. I think this year people are supposed to post their shoe size or where they left their purse.  Regardless of what people are doing, we need to move beyond the awareness and find a cure. (As an aside, Komen has branded "for the cure" yet too few of their funding actually goes to research.)  I doubt these Facebook games generate much money for breast cancer research. 

I saw a great blog post earlier today that really spoke to me.  Here's an excerpt: 

Once a soldier, always a soldier
Cancer is a wicked foe and not to be taken lightly. Tens of thousands of viewers gained a deeper understanding of life post-breast cancer by viewing "The Scar Project," an art display depicting young women post-mastectomy.

The beauty of these women, in victory over pain, disease and loss, is one of the most moving of all visual presentations I have even seen.

So, inspired by "The Scar Project," and since this year's silly game is about inches, let me tell you what my Facebook status would be:

Eight inches, times two.

Not my shoe size, but the length of the scar on my chest where my breast used to be.

Times two, because both of my breasts had cancer.

There's no sad face to follow in the post because I am happy, healthy and fighting alongside my sisters in the battle. Because "once a solider, always a solider" seems to be true for breast cancer survivors, as well as military personal.

I love a good laugh, but if we really want to do something about breast cancer, then do something -- fund research, volunteer or just love someone with cancer. Let's show our power by fighting in memory of the women lost and for the future, so others will not have to walk this road called cancer.  

I personally think these "breast cancer games" are tacky and tasteless.  Everyone is entitled to say what they want so if you want to post your bra color, by all means, go ahead. But I don't think breast cancer is something that we should joke about.  Women die from this disease every day.

Allll done!

I'm very excited to say that as of last Wednesday, I am finally finished with all of my treatment!  I'm not really sure what to do with myself now that I don't have to go to the doctor every single day.  It feels great to sleep in a bit (because I'm still a little fatigued).  I should probably use that time to workout but I haven't had much motivation...it's also been pretty hot here and I don't enjoy working out in weather that makes me sweat when I'm just sitting in the shade.  I hope that I will soon develop an internal motivation that will get me out the door no matter what. Any suggestions from those that workout regularly? 

Every single doctor has mentioned that regularly exercising will help my chance of keeping cancer at bay and it will also be better for any possible side effects from surgery/radiation (i.e. lymphedema).     I've been thinking of getting a trainer to motivate me until I develop this internal motivation.  But again, open to suggestions. 

My hair is slowly but steadily growing.  I don't have enough to feel comfortable to go without a wig but it feels great to finally have some fuzz growing.  I'm seeing some grey and I want to pluck them out but at this point, beggars mustn't be choosy. :)

So, what's ahead?  I have a checkup with my surgical and radiation oncologist in a month.  I'm already clear to do 3-month check ups with my medial oncologist (the chemo doc), which I will do for the next 2 years.  Aside from a blood test and being checked up by the doc, there's not much monitoring that I need to do.  And since I don't have any breast tissue left, I don't have to do any more mammograms.  But as I said before, I do need to start exercising more regularly and eating healthy (i.e. lay off the cupcakes -- I'm looking at you, Dad -- stop driving by Sweet Mandy B's!).  I'm also enrolling in the Northwestern Ovarian Cancer Early Detection & Prevention program because I'm also at a high risk for ovarian cancer. I'll see that team every 6-months.  And, I hope to have my reconstructive surgery at the end of the year, around the holidays.  Thankfully that surgery should be much less invasive than the surgery I had last year.   

Though I'm taking a sigh of relief for making it this far, I still have some work to do.  But I made it through the toughest part...it's nice to have that behind me!

What does radiation treatment look like exactly?

Many people have asked me to describe the radiation set up and it's a challenge to explain. So, I took a picture of it today.




The part overhead comes down and is set up to target the specific area they are treating (so for me, the breast and chest area obviously).

The whole process literally just takes a few minutes. It takes more time for me to get dressed and undressed, honestly.

My skin is a little irritated but the doctor says it's to be expected. Hopefully it won't get much worse....

I think I'm past the half way point (whoo hoo) and expect to be finished on July 13th. Can't wait to be done so I can enjoy the rest of my summer!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Waaaay behind on blogging....

I know -- I'm waaaaaaay behind on blogging.  My blame is equally distributed between being too busy and too tired.  I'm back to working 5 days a week (which is the first time since the new year) so I think that's contributing to my tiredness, coupled with fatigue from radiation. 

One of these days I will upload pictures from my weekend celebration in Milwaukee with my girlfriends.  I had SO MUCH FUN.  I laughed so hard that I think my abs are still a little sore.  It was so nice to get away with the girls -- now that many of my friends have families, it's sometimes a challenge for us to all get together; which makes our time spent together all the more special. 

I started radiation on May 26th and I'm 13 treatments in.  I think I have to do about 33 treatments total and I go every weekday.  I haven't noticed any significant side effects except I do find doing to the doctor's office everyday annoying.  But I'm one-third of the way done and expect to be done in about a month or so. After that, I'm planning on going away to Florida with Katie C. for a relaxing beach getaway.

I'm looking forward to having all of this behind me so I can get on with my life. I don't expect my life to go back to the normal that I knew prior to my diagnosis but I can't wait to (ranked in no particular order):

1. Having hair and eyelashes again
2. Not having to go to the doctor so frequently
3. Having a normal amount of energy

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now. 

Before I sign off, I just want to ask you to please keep my friend Bonnie in your prayers.  She had her bilateral mastectomy on Friday.  Please pray for a speedy recovery without any complications.

Love to all!

Bon Voyage Chemotherapy!

This week marks a very triumphant week in my fight against cancer -- I had my final round of chemotherapy!! I have finally completed four rounds of Adriamycin & Cytoxin and four rounds of Taxol.  I have come a long way since that cold day in February when I began treatment and was crying to my doctor because I was so scared of beginning treatment.  I had envisioned what I've seen in the movies (even though I saw my mom go through it 12 years ago).  And despite talking to many people about what to expect it was still not familiar to me at the time.  Thankfully I had a very compassionate doctor that gave me a big hug which made me feel so much better.  Since then, I've had my good days and bad days but it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be.

Fast forward to this past Thursday -- I was so excited to have chemotherapy behind me.  And, in a very celebratory fashion, Katie Cavarretta brought me a tiara to wear during my last treatment...I was the belle of the ball in the treatment room this week.

I had unfortunately forgotten all of my cute pink letters that I would use to make a sign to hang from the chemo drip so I had to improvise with the supplies available at the nurse's station.  I think it all worked out in the end.  Thank you, Katie, for helping me to develop my creative vision.  :)

My dad later joined Katie and I in the treatment room and brought cupcakes from my favorite place (Sweet Mandy B's).  They have been delicious!

For the past two weeks I had been joking around that I would be graduating from one of the most difficult steps in in kicking cancer's ass.  To celebrate my chemotherapy commencement, Katie had (what I thought) arranged for us to go on Ian's, her future brother-in-law's, boat in the evening.  So, I wore my boat shoes and a cute pink floppy hat and toted my preppiest tote bag -- I was ready for a boat ride.  Katie told me that we were going to meet her sister at a bar for a drink while Ian was docking the boat and testing the water.  Being the gullible girl I am, I just followed along... However, there was a secret mission that my friends had been up to -- they were throwing me a surprise graduation party! I. Was. Stunned.  I LOVE surprise parties and haven't had any surprises thrown for me since I was 16 when my mom and Meme had arranged for me to have my Glamour Shots taken with my BFF at the time (I'll have to get my hands on those photos).

Here's a pic of my friends and I.  I took a few more pictures and you can check them out by looking at my album here.  Thank you to everyone who could make it out on Thursday night!

I will probably never understand why I would have to battle this disease but I have learned a lot about myself since the fateful day that I was told I had cancer.  I do believe everything happens for a reason and as I have begun to unravel what I am supposed to take away from this experience, I have learned that I am truly blessed.  My friends and family consist of people that ran to my side when I needed them most, took care of me while I was recovering from surgery, accompanied me to my endless doctor appointments, helped me pick out a wig and was by my side when I shaved my head, made me dinner, sent me flowers, cards, emails and prayers for my strength and recovery.  The nurses at my oncologist office often commented on how lucky I am to have so many people accompany me to chemotherapy but little did they know that my network of support goes far beyond the people who were with me every other week.  It is very hard for me to express my gratitude in words.  All I can say is I have been smiling since Thursday as I've reflected on the past few months.


What's ahead for Miss Davis?
Well, my next step in kicking cancer's ass is radiation therapy, which will begin on May 26th.  I met with the radiation oncologist this week and I really liked him so am looking forward to getting this started and being done with cancer treatment. Radiation is very different from chemotherapy; I will do a little amount every single day (5 days a week) over the course of six and a half weeks.  I have been told that I will likely have some fatigue but the side effects of radiation aren't nearly as bad as chemotherapy.  It's nice to know that the worst is behind me.

Also, now that things have started to warm up around here (sort of), I have been out and about on my new bike.  I still have a while before the Apple Cider Century but will need to work hard this summer to  prepare for it.  I will be sure to keep you all posted on my adventures in bike riding.

Love to everyone!  Wishing you peace, love and happiness!