What I'm grateful for today

February 25, 2003 was probably the most devastating day of my life.  It was the day my mom died.  It's hard to believe that it's been 8 years since I've heard my mom's voice, laugh or gotten a hug from her.  She was my best friend and I still miss her to this day.  I know the normal succession in life is to have your parents die before you but at 24 years old, I was not ready; my mom was not ready to go either.

In years past, the entire month of February has been a very somber one for me.  I'd like to blame the grey skies of Chicago but I know deep down that it's because February 25th is approaching.  This year has been very different.  Some may imagine that this year would be even harder than in the past but that has not been the case.  With everything else on my plate right now, February 25th honestly snuck up on me.  And I'm not as sad as I've been in the past.  Perhaps this is strange, but I'm feeling hopeful and grateful today.   In general, losing my mom made me a stronger person.  But if I had not lost my mom to this disease, I don't know if I would have been as aggressive as I have.  My mom fought until the very end (she had chemo scheduled the day she died), which not only gives me the strength to endure what I am now facing but I think it has made me even more courageous.  Of course I am sad to have lost my mom, but I am thankful that I share the same determination that she did.