Puppy Love & Energizer Bunnies

There is a new addition to the Davis family.  My Dad & Betty adopted a young rottweiler, Abby.  She was a stray that came from Missouri and was living in a foster home near Bloomington-Normal.  I somehow managed to convince my Dad to swing by my apartment so I could meet the new pup.  She is so sweet!  She looks a lot like Lily but her personality reminded me of Rose.  It just made my day to meet the new pup!  (But then I made me REALLY want one.)  Guess I'll have to live vicariously through my Dad...

 

And a little drain update: no change.  #4 is seriously like the Energizer Bunny -- it keeps going, and going, and going.... 

Dr. G gave me the green light to start chemo on Thursday despite the fact that I'm still draining.  So, in addition to the prayers that you are all sending my way when I start chemo, please pray that this draining comes to an end so I don't have any complications or infections as a result of still having a drain.

xoxo  

Enough is enough, Drain #4

I am so over #4.  Today was 65 ccs, not even close to being under 30 like I need it to be.  Although, my oncologist said that we would proceed with chemo next week regardless of the drain situation.  We'll see what Dr. G says about that  -- I'll let them sort that out if he still disagrees.

I'm just so frustrated with this stupid thing. It doesn't hurt -- it's just a nuisance.  I can't wait until it's out and I can wear whatever I want to and not have to worry about how I'm going to hide this stupid drain.

As my brother said, "Come on #4, retire like Brett Favre already!"  
I couldn't have said it better...

Drainage Update

I went to see Dr. G today (my plastic surgeon) and the good news is, I had the stitches removed from my incisions and they filled up the expanders up a bit more.  The disappointing news is, (as I posted yesterday) I'm still not seeing #4 slow down.  The doctor hopes that by continuing to fill the expanders, it will close off where the drainage is coming from so the plan is to fill me up twice a week.  At this point, I doubt chemotherapy will happen this week unless something dramatically changes in the next 24 hours.

Drain, Drain -- Go Away!

The last remaining drain (#4 for those of you that are familiar with my post-op drains) is showing no signs of slowing.  I don't know what the doctor is going to say when I see him tomorrow.

Being someone who lives in Excel and PowerPoint charts, I made a little trend line of what's going on here.  Ideally, we would like to see drain #4 act as the other drains did, gradually dropping off.  But unfortunately it looks as if drain #4 would like to reside in my body and hoover around 50-60 cc's a day. Super lame drain.

I'll let you know what Dr. G says about resolving this.  I would like to get chemo started this week but I don't know if that's going to happen at the rate the drainage is going.

My Mentor Angel

This week I reached out to this amazing organization, Imerman's Angels which pairs cancer fighters (me) to cancer survivors.  I was able to select a mentor not only based on her age but also by the exact type of breast cancer that she had (including the stage of her diagnosis).  I also specifically requested someone who was a several year survivor  because I am trying to surround myself by women who have made it past that 5 year mark (something that my mom unfortunately did not make).

My mentor angel is Maria.  I had a chance to speak with her for a bit yesterday. She was also in her 30's when she was diagnosed, has the BRCA1 mutation and had triple negative breast cancer -- just like me.    Maria is now a 6 (almost 7) year survivor, which gives me hope.  The tragic loss of my mom within that first 5 years of her diagnosis has made me fearful about my own survival.  But I know statistically that my mom was the minority.  It's hard to put into words how helpful it is to meet someone who had the same kind of cancer as my mom and I, but have made it.  If anything, having lost my mom has taught me to be that much stronger and more aggressive when it comes to my fight.  (I'm not trying to say that my mom didn't put up a good fight herself but things are different now.)  I'm planning to kick the crap out of cancer and be part of the majority that survives for years and years.

A bit more about Imerman's Angels....
It is an organization that not only helps cancer fighters of all ages and types of cancer but it also supports caregivers.  If you know of someone fighting or is a caregiver, maybe this would be helpful to them.  I can't tell you how good I felt after one conversation with my mentor angel.

A little delay

Chemo has been delayed because I'm still draining (dang drain #4) and that would put me at a risk of infection and interrupt my treatment (not good). So, we're going to try again next week...

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First Chemo Today...

...and I'm surprisingly not nervous or anxious. My phone has been blowing up with emails, calls and texts, which is such a great feeling. My dad and aunt are accompanying me to my appointment but I feel like I have an army behind me! Words can not describe how uplifting and inspiring that is. xoxo

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Back to Work

I've been feeling really good so I decided to go back to work today. I was so glad I did! It felt great to get out of the house for a reason other than a doctor appointment. I felt like a normal person again and not just a cancer patient. I'm so blessed to work in such a supportive office. I am very fortunate that I am surrounded by people (both at work and outside of work) that are so thoughtful, cheerful and caring. It helps to be surrounded by all of those things right now. Love you all!

Reminder

Have you done your monthly self breast exam this month?  Even if you think you are too young to think that this is necessary, remember that I was only 32 years old when I was diagnosed and I found the lump myself.  

If you aren't sure what you should be looking for, use this as a guide.  Early detection is so important -- don't rely on your annual ob/gyn exam or mammogram to find something.  You know your body better than any medical professional.

Comfort Food Recipes

I've posted some of my favorite comfort food recipes and thought you would all enjoy as well.  Maybe you could make it for me too (wink wink).

Cream of Tomato Soup

Tomato soup is one of my favorite soups.  It's so comforting in the winter with a nice crusty grilled cheese sandwich. Here's one of my favorite recipes.  It will be hard to go back to the canned soup after you make this.

Adapted from The New Best Recipe Cookbook (Cook's Illustrated)

2 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes (Muir Glen Fire Roasted are my favorite)
1 1/2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 large shallots, minced (or 1 medium-large onion diced)
3 garlic cloves minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
Pinch of allspice
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cup low-sodium chicken broth
3/4 2% milk (original recipe calls for 1/2 cup heavy cream)
Salt & Pepper to taste

1. In large saucepan over medium heat melt butter.  Add shallots/onions and cook until they become opaque in color then add minced garlic and let cook until you can smell the garlic (~30 seconds).  Add flour and tomato paste and cook for another 30-45 seconds.
2. Add canned tomatoes (including juice), broth, brown sugar, allspice, salt and pepper.  Cover the pot and increase the heat to medium and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally for 20-30 minutes.  
3. Remove from heat and using an immersion blender (a food processor or regular blender would work too), blend 3/4 of the soup until smooth, leaving some tomato chunks.  Add the milk (or heavy cream) and stir.  Taste to make sure seasonings are right.  
4. Serve immediately or freeze for a later date (I usually freeze in individual containers for lunches) but be sure NOT to boil when reheating.

Not my mamma's chicken 'n dumplings

Growing up whenever I was sick, my mom would make me chicken and dumplings.  As an adult, I would even make this for myself when I was feeling under the weather.  I was accustomed to doing a free form  drop dumpling recipe, until I was introduced to Art Smith's chicken and dumplings recipe. I think I am now a convert....

Stock:

one 3 to 3.5 lb chicken, cut into 8 pieces
1 medium onion, chopped
2 celery ribs, chopped
2 carrots, sliced into rounds
2 quarts water

2 - 3 bay leavessalt and freshly ground black pepper

Dumplings:
1.5 cups all purpose flour
pinch of salt
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon water
1 Tbsp canola oil
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley for garnish

Saute onion, celery and carrots in dutch oven until softened. Add chicken, water, 1/2 tsp salt, and 1/4 tsp pepper.  Bring to a boil over high heat, skimming off any foam that rises to surface.  Reduce heat to low and cover tightly.  Simmer, occasionally skimming broth, until chicken is tender, about 50 mins.

Using tongs, transfer chicken to a platter (keep broth and vegs simmering) and cool it until it's easy to handle.  Discard skin and bones and cut meat into bite size pieces.

Meanwhile, increase the heat under the broth to high and cook until liquid is reduced to 6 cups.  (if you're in a hurry, strain the broth, reserving the vegetables, and measure 6 cups of broth, reserving the remaining broth for another use.  Return the 6 cups of broth and vegetables to the pot.)  Skim off any fat from surface of broth.  Stir the chicken back into the pot.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.

To make the dumplings, place flour, salt and oil in medium bowl and gradually stir in water to make a stiff dough.  Turn out onto lightly floured surface and knead briefly.  Roll out 1/4 in thick.  Using a sharp knife, cut the dough into 1 in wide strips.  (If you wish, you can do what my mother does - make the dumpling strips while the chicken is simmering, and freeze the strips until ready to cook - Art Smith).

Slide the strips into the simmering soup, placing them next to each other without stacking or crowding.  Cover tightly and reduce heat to low.  Simmer until dumplings are cooked through and tender, about 10 mins.

Sprinkle the dumplings with parsley.  Serve from the pot, breaking up the dumplings as needed.

Turkey Meatloaf with Brown Sugar-Ketchup Glaze

It's winter so I crave comfort classics when the temperate drops below 30 degrees.  Here's another recipe that I've adapted from The New Best Recipes Cookbook (Cook's Illustrated). I've lightened it up using ground turkey instead of the ground chuck, pork and veal mixture they use (gotta watch how much red meat I eat moving forward -- increases my chance of reoccurance).

Glaze
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar
4 teaspoons cider vinegar

Meat Loaf
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 medium onion chopped
2 medium garlic cloves, minced
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 teaspoons Dijon
1/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1/2 cup whole milk or plain yogurt (I used 2% milk)
2 pounds ground organic turkey (I get 1 pound ground turkey breast and 1 pound ground turkey thigh)
1 1/3 cups bread crumbs
1/3 cup fresh parsley leaves, minced

1. For the glaze, mix all of the ingredients together in a small bowl and set aside
2. For the meatloaf: Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Heat oil in a medium skillet, add the onion and garlic and saute until softened.  Set aside
3. Mix the eggs, thyme, salt, pepper, mustard, hot sauce and milk in a medium bowl.  Add the egg mixture to the ground turkey in a large bowl along with the breadcrumbs, parsley, and cooked onion and garlic; mix with a fork until evenly blended
4. Add to meat mixture to a loaf pan or or pat the mixture freehand until it is approximately 9x5 inches.  Brush with the glaze and bake for 1 hour.  
5. For individual portions, I used a mini loaf pan and baked for approximately 30 minutes.   

Busy Week of Recovery

While everyone was settled into their post-holiday work routines, I had another week of taking it easy but was very busy with doctor appointments.  On Monday I went to see my plastic surgeon who said that my incisions were healing nicely but I still needed to be careful about too much movement, lifting, etc. He did give me the green light to start chemotherapy on January 20th, as I had originally planned.  On Tuesday, I had a follow-up appointment with my surgical oncologist who basically said that I needed to see him in 6 months.  I don't think I'll have much follow-up with him thereafter (no breast tissue remaining), which means I also get out of ever having to do a mammogram again (hallelujah!).  For those who haven't had a mammogram, yes they are uncomfortable but for me they cause a lot of anxiety.  That afternoon I passed the MUGA heart test, which was to just confirm that my heart was strong enough for the chemotherapy.

I've been having a lot of anxiety of reoccurance so I went to see a psychologist and psychiatrist that work specifically with Northwestern's cancer patients.  As I've learned more about my disease and compare it to what my mother had, I can't help but to think that I will have a similar outcome.  These are very grim thoughts and I know I need help getting past this.  I unfortunately have a very aggressive form of breast cancer (commonly seen with the BRCA1 mutation) and the chances of it coming back are greater than many of the other bc subsets. While I have a good fighting chance it's just hard for me to feel 'rah rah' knowing that my mother was part of the group that  didn't make it. I feel better knowing that I have a supportive team of doctors that will help me work through these emotions and anxiety.

As of right now, I am scheduled to begin chemotherapy on Thursday.  As I have heard from my doctors and other cancer fighters, the first treatment is often the hardest because of the unknown.  I don't know how I'm going to feel afterwards, I don't know what I'm going to feel like eating (my taste buds will change) and I don't really know what fatigue feels like.  All of this unknown adds to the anxiety that I've been feeling.  So, please keep me in your thoughts as I head into this next week.  I hope it's not as bad as I'm expecting it to be.

A Day At A Time

It was a busy week for me with doctor visits and procedures so I have spent the weekend doing a whole lot of nothing.  I feel pretty lazy and wish the weather wasn't so cold so I could withstand going for a walk.  But, it is January in Chicago so I'll just snuggle up in a blanket.

I saw my plastic surgeon this past Monday and he wanted to remove the dead tissue from my incisions so I headed back into the OR on Wednesday.  It was interesting to be in the OR while not sedated.  I was able to even joke around with doctor and nurse.  I got a glimpse of the incision afterwards and it looked good.  I've had a special dressing on it since then so hopefully it's been healing nicely.  I still have one drain left and it's hardly slowing.  I see the doctor tomorrow and I'm fairly certain that he'll want to keep the dang drain in.  It will be so nice once I am drain free...

On Friday I had my port put in, which wasn't too awful of a procedure.  They gave me some medication that would make me a little zombie-like but not 100% knocked out.  Once I was finished, I got really emotional.  I'd like to blame the medication but it was largely driven by the fact that I knew I was one step closer to doing chemo, which I'm not looking forward to.  I try to keep a positive attitude most days but I could not be "Susie Smiles A lot" that day.  I'm pissed that I have to do chemo and it's going to do strange things to my body, like make my hair fall out and alter my taste buds (I am a foodie, after all).  Yes, I know those things will come back but it does not make me feel any better about it now.   After the procedure, I had dinner with some friends that I could cry and laugh with, which made me feel better.  By Saturday, I was feeling less upset about everything.  I guess that's what they mean by "take one day at a time".

Tomorrow I go back to the plastic surgeon for a check up.  Tuesday I'm going to see my surgical oncologist for a post-op follow-up and then I have to do a MUGA test (to make sure my heart can withstand the chemo).  Not sure if I'm going back to work just yet.  I don't know if I could handle 8 hours of work (I still rest and nap a lot during the day).  After all of my procedures last week, my body may just need more healing time.

Happy New Year!

I haven't made any new years resolutions (I figure I have enough on my plate with upcoming treatments). But I do hope that 2011 be my year of restoring health and REMISSION!

I hope everyone had a great holiday. Mine was quiet and relaxing, which is how I like it to be even when I'm not recovering from surgery.

Speaking of recovering, the doctor wants me to take another week to heal so I'll be home all week, aside from the few doctor visits I have.

Over break I met with my medical oncologist and I'm tentatively scheduled to begin chemo at the end of January. I also shopped for a wig and picked one out that I hope will fool everyone :) Thanks to Aliza and Sara for coming with me and not letting me pick out a wig that made me look like a television news reporter. Honest friends are the best to have at a time like that.

Missing my office today...but I hope that sleeping late and curling up to a good book will make me miss it less :)

Hope you all have a great first day of work in the new year!


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