My cancerversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis.  It has been a whirlwind.  I am feeling really good about today even though this was the day that my life was flipped upside down. This word cloud is a synopsis of the past year for me.  Crazy, right?

Thank you to my friends and family for your incredible support.  I have a new appreciation for the people in my life and feel so blessed.  There was no shortage of hugs and laughs when I needed them, rides to the hospital, cupcakes (DAD!), cards, flowers, and friends/family who would be at my side at the drop of a hat.   It's an incredible feeling to know so many people care about you.  I hope everyone could feel that way at some point in their life (minus cancer, of course).

I can't even begin to explain what a relief it is to be done with the past year.  I am not sad or angry about getting cancer.  It has refreshed my perspective on my life.  It has helped me to prioritize things a bit more.  I feel really strong and positive about the road ahead for me.

Moving ahead, I will be retiring my blog. It was very therapeutic for me to write my thoughts and to keep everyone in the loop but it's time for me to move on to something new.  Maybe I'll blog again but I don't envision it being about cancer.  This disease does not define who I am.  I'm still Heather -- market researcher, amateur cook, and lover of shoes.  I suppose I now can add breast cancer survivor to that list.

Thanks for reading and following my journey.

Love to you all!

HLD  

Wait -- what is that?

A year ago this week....I had just moved into a new apartment and was taking a staycation.  I scheduled a routine mammogram on Monday.  On Wednesday I happened to adjust my bra and I found a lump that I knew wasn't normal.  By Friday, I was having it checked out by my doctor.  

I've been reflecting on the past year and have been so surprised by myself. Honestly.  Did I really just go through that?  I kicked cancers ass, worked full-time and didn't let it stop me from laughing.  I'm pretty sure that there are super heros that don't have as much power as that. :)

November 1st is officially my cancerversery.   I am really looking forward to having that day behind me.   I feel stronger knowing that the past year is just a memory now.  Onwards and upwards!

Breast Cancer Awareness month is approaching

The month of October is quickly approaching and I have mixed feelings about it.  I absolutely love the fall in Chicago -- the cool, crisp air, watching the Chicago marathon, and Halloween.  But it is also the anniversary of when I found the dreaded lump, which has forever changed my life.

October is also breast cancer awareness month, another thing that I have been dreading.  I recall a couple of years ago the 'it' thing to do was post  your bra color on Facebook. I was baffled about what people were posting and then caught on.  The claim was that it helped raise awareness of breast cancer but I question how many people actually did anything as a result of posting their bra color. I think this year people are supposed to post their shoe size or where they left their purse.  Regardless of what people are doing, we need to move beyond the awareness and find a cure. (As an aside, Komen has branded "for the cure" yet too few of their funding actually goes to research.)  I doubt these Facebook games generate much money for breast cancer research. 

I saw a great blog post earlier today that really spoke to me.  Here's an excerpt: 

Once a soldier, always a soldier
Cancer is a wicked foe and not to be taken lightly. Tens of thousands of viewers gained a deeper understanding of life post-breast cancer by viewing "The Scar Project," an art display depicting young women post-mastectomy.

The beauty of these women, in victory over pain, disease and loss, is one of the most moving of all visual presentations I have even seen.

So, inspired by "The Scar Project," and since this year's silly game is about inches, let me tell you what my Facebook status would be:

Eight inches, times two.

Not my shoe size, but the length of the scar on my chest where my breast used to be.

Times two, because both of my breasts had cancer.

There's no sad face to follow in the post because I am happy, healthy and fighting alongside my sisters in the battle. Because "once a solider, always a solider" seems to be true for breast cancer survivors, as well as military personal.

I love a good laugh, but if we really want to do something about breast cancer, then do something -- fund research, volunteer or just love someone with cancer. Let's show our power by fighting in memory of the women lost and for the future, so others will not have to walk this road called cancer.  

I personally think these "breast cancer games" are tacky and tasteless.  Everyone is entitled to say what they want so if you want to post your bra color, by all means, go ahead. But I don't think breast cancer is something that we should joke about.  Women die from this disease every day.

Allll done!

I'm very excited to say that as of last Wednesday, I am finally finished with all of my treatment!  I'm not really sure what to do with myself now that I don't have to go to the doctor every single day.  It feels great to sleep in a bit (because I'm still a little fatigued).  I should probably use that time to workout but I haven't had much motivation...it's also been pretty hot here and I don't enjoy working out in weather that makes me sweat when I'm just sitting in the shade.  I hope that I will soon develop an internal motivation that will get me out the door no matter what. Any suggestions from those that workout regularly? 

Every single doctor has mentioned that regularly exercising will help my chance of keeping cancer at bay and it will also be better for any possible side effects from surgery/radiation (i.e. lymphedema).     I've been thinking of getting a trainer to motivate me until I develop this internal motivation.  But again, open to suggestions. 

My hair is slowly but steadily growing.  I don't have enough to feel comfortable to go without a wig but it feels great to finally have some fuzz growing.  I'm seeing some grey and I want to pluck them out but at this point, beggars mustn't be choosy. :)

So, what's ahead?  I have a checkup with my surgical and radiation oncologist in a month.  I'm already clear to do 3-month check ups with my medial oncologist (the chemo doc), which I will do for the next 2 years.  Aside from a blood test and being checked up by the doc, there's not much monitoring that I need to do.  And since I don't have any breast tissue left, I don't have to do any more mammograms.  But as I said before, I do need to start exercising more regularly and eating healthy (i.e. lay off the cupcakes -- I'm looking at you, Dad -- stop driving by Sweet Mandy B's!).  I'm also enrolling in the Northwestern Ovarian Cancer Early Detection & Prevention program because I'm also at a high risk for ovarian cancer. I'll see that team every 6-months.  And, I hope to have my reconstructive surgery at the end of the year, around the holidays.  Thankfully that surgery should be much less invasive than the surgery I had last year.   

Though I'm taking a sigh of relief for making it this far, I still have some work to do.  But I made it through the toughest part...it's nice to have that behind me!

What does radiation treatment look like exactly?

Many people have asked me to describe the radiation set up and it's a challenge to explain. So, I took a picture of it today.




The part overhead comes down and is set up to target the specific area they are treating (so for me, the breast and chest area obviously).

The whole process literally just takes a few minutes. It takes more time for me to get dressed and undressed, honestly.

My skin is a little irritated but the doctor says it's to be expected. Hopefully it won't get much worse....

I think I'm past the half way point (whoo hoo) and expect to be finished on July 13th. Can't wait to be done so I can enjoy the rest of my summer!

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Waaaay behind on blogging....

I know -- I'm waaaaaaay behind on blogging.  My blame is equally distributed between being too busy and too tired.  I'm back to working 5 days a week (which is the first time since the new year) so I think that's contributing to my tiredness, coupled with fatigue from radiation. 

One of these days I will upload pictures from my weekend celebration in Milwaukee with my girlfriends.  I had SO MUCH FUN.  I laughed so hard that I think my abs are still a little sore.  It was so nice to get away with the girls -- now that many of my friends have families, it's sometimes a challenge for us to all get together; which makes our time spent together all the more special. 

I started radiation on May 26th and I'm 13 treatments in.  I think I have to do about 33 treatments total and I go every weekday.  I haven't noticed any significant side effects except I do find doing to the doctor's office everyday annoying.  But I'm one-third of the way done and expect to be done in about a month or so. After that, I'm planning on going away to Florida with Katie C. for a relaxing beach getaway.

I'm looking forward to having all of this behind me so I can get on with my life. I don't expect my life to go back to the normal that I knew prior to my diagnosis but I can't wait to (ranked in no particular order):

1. Having hair and eyelashes again
2. Not having to go to the doctor so frequently
3. Having a normal amount of energy

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now. 

Before I sign off, I just want to ask you to please keep my friend Bonnie in your prayers.  She had her bilateral mastectomy on Friday.  Please pray for a speedy recovery without any complications.

Love to all!

Bon Voyage Chemotherapy!

This week marks a very triumphant week in my fight against cancer -- I had my final round of chemotherapy!! I have finally completed four rounds of Adriamycin & Cytoxin and four rounds of Taxol.  I have come a long way since that cold day in February when I began treatment and was crying to my doctor because I was so scared of beginning treatment.  I had envisioned what I've seen in the movies (even though I saw my mom go through it 12 years ago).  And despite talking to many people about what to expect it was still not familiar to me at the time.  Thankfully I had a very compassionate doctor that gave me a big hug which made me feel so much better.  Since then, I've had my good days and bad days but it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be.

Fast forward to this past Thursday -- I was so excited to have chemotherapy behind me.  And, in a very celebratory fashion, Katie Cavarretta brought me a tiara to wear during my last treatment...I was the belle of the ball in the treatment room this week.

I had unfortunately forgotten all of my cute pink letters that I would use to make a sign to hang from the chemo drip so I had to improvise with the supplies available at the nurse's station.  I think it all worked out in the end.  Thank you, Katie, for helping me to develop my creative vision.  :)

My dad later joined Katie and I in the treatment room and brought cupcakes from my favorite place (Sweet Mandy B's).  They have been delicious!

For the past two weeks I had been joking around that I would be graduating from one of the most difficult steps in in kicking cancer's ass.  To celebrate my chemotherapy commencement, Katie had (what I thought) arranged for us to go on Ian's, her future brother-in-law's, boat in the evening.  So, I wore my boat shoes and a cute pink floppy hat and toted my preppiest tote bag -- I was ready for a boat ride.  Katie told me that we were going to meet her sister at a bar for a drink while Ian was docking the boat and testing the water.  Being the gullible girl I am, I just followed along... However, there was a secret mission that my friends had been up to -- they were throwing me a surprise graduation party! I. Was. Stunned.  I LOVE surprise parties and haven't had any surprises thrown for me since I was 16 when my mom and Meme had arranged for me to have my Glamour Shots taken with my BFF at the time (I'll have to get my hands on those photos).

Here's a pic of my friends and I.  I took a few more pictures and you can check them out by looking at my album here.  Thank you to everyone who could make it out on Thursday night!

I will probably never understand why I would have to battle this disease but I have learned a lot about myself since the fateful day that I was told I had cancer.  I do believe everything happens for a reason and as I have begun to unravel what I am supposed to take away from this experience, I have learned that I am truly blessed.  My friends and family consist of people that ran to my side when I needed them most, took care of me while I was recovering from surgery, accompanied me to my endless doctor appointments, helped me pick out a wig and was by my side when I shaved my head, made me dinner, sent me flowers, cards, emails and prayers for my strength and recovery.  The nurses at my oncologist office often commented on how lucky I am to have so many people accompany me to chemotherapy but little did they know that my network of support goes far beyond the people who were with me every other week.  It is very hard for me to express my gratitude in words.  All I can say is I have been smiling since Thursday as I've reflected on the past few months.


What's ahead for Miss Davis?
Well, my next step in kicking cancer's ass is radiation therapy, which will begin on May 26th.  I met with the radiation oncologist this week and I really liked him so am looking forward to getting this started and being done with cancer treatment. Radiation is very different from chemotherapy; I will do a little amount every single day (5 days a week) over the course of six and a half weeks.  I have been told that I will likely have some fatigue but the side effects of radiation aren't nearly as bad as chemotherapy.  It's nice to know that the worst is behind me.

Also, now that things have started to warm up around here (sort of), I have been out and about on my new bike.  I still have a while before the Apple Cider Century but will need to work hard this summer to  prepare for it.  I will be sure to keep you all posted on my adventures in bike riding.

Love to everyone!  Wishing you peace, love and happiness!

Birthday, Biking, Chemo & Beyond

Happy Birthday to me!


My birthday was a couple of weeks ago so I have been slowly celebrating with my friends and family.  This year has been pretty low key for me because I'm still dealing with this good week-bad week schedule.   (But things are looking up for me...more on that to come.)  One of my great friends, Katie Cavaretta got me a label maker for my birthday. :)  I don't know why I've always wanted one but Katie and I share a love for office supplies so I was pretty psyched to get one.  My first response was "What am I going to label first?!?" Yes, I am a dork.

As a present to myself (and with the help of my Dad and Aunt Barb), I decided to upgrade my bike this year since I will be training for the Apple Cider Century ride in September.  I currently have a mountain bike (which is not really needed since I don't live near any mountains). So, it was time for me to move on to a bike that is better for city and long distance riding.  With the help of my Uncle Joel, we picked out the perfect bike for me.  I am really excited to pick it up and take it out for a ride!

My new bike -- TREK 7000

Chemotherapy -- 7 down, 1 to go!!!

It is amazing to think that I am almost finished with chemotherapy.  I feel like I have come such a long way from my very first treatment on February 2nd.   The last few treatments have been really tough for me.  I've been very achy, had bone pain and the fatigue started to catch up with me.  My doctor recommended taking a new vitamin and I have also have done a couple of acupuncture treatments.  I don't know if it's the combination of those (or a little bit of magic) but I am feeling so much better than the last few treatments.  I met a woman in the treatment room that is one week behind me and she has to take narcotic pain medication for the bone pain.  I haven't even needed to take Tylenol this weekend. I feel very blessed this time around.  I'm sure that it also helps that the weather is picking up in Chicago and in the back of my mind I know I only have ONE TREATMENT LEFT!!

Thank you Bridget for coming along with me to chemotherapy.  It was so fun to catch up with you!  I am very fortunate to be surrounded by friends and family at every single treatment.  Even the nurses commented on how I have a different friend with me at nearly every visit.  It is so nice to have cheerleaders near and far.  Thank you for all of your  happy thoughts -- I could definitely feel the love this week.  

What's next?


I will take about a month off after chemotherapy and begin radiation.  I believe I have to do 5 weeks of radiation (which will be five days a week).  I am meeting with the radiation oncologist in 10 days and will confirm all of that then.  But it looks like I will be finished with all of my treatment in July sometime.  It will be so nice to have this all behind me.  Then, I will take about 6 months off and allow my skin and tissue to heal and I hope to have the second part of my reconstructive surgery at the end of the year.


It has been a long road but I can't tell you how many blessings I have to be grateful for.  Thank you for being by my side and providing such a wonderful support system!  


Love to all! 

I'm not alone this Easter

I decided not to go home this weekend for Easter. I haven't for several years and I just enjoy the long weekend at home. Plus, I was just in the country last weekend and didn't want to be gone two weekends in a row.

So I slept in this morning and saw the beautiful sun shining and decided to head out for a bike ride. I rode a couple of weeks ago and managed to get 10 miles in but it was really tough. As I'm riding my bike this time I feel like it's getting even harder for me. There's a slight wind here today so I can't really blame that for slowing me down. It's just the fatigue. I tried to go at a steady pace and just take my time all the while telling myself I only need to make it 30 minutes. I don't need to do 10 miles right now. Then some fast paced runner started running faster than me (again, on a bike). I felt so defeated. I am so tired of being exhausted. I made it to a resting point far away from Forrest Gump and just started to cry. It's hard to remember in the moment that this is only temporary and in a few months I'll be back to my normal, energetic self. In the middle of my lakefront pity party, I saw two ducks, which reminded me of my Mom and Meme. I was not alone. It was as if they were there to tell me stay strong and keep going no matter how tough it feels. And so I will...

Here's the view from my lakefront pity party. (of course the ducks were camera shy).



I only have 2 treatments left and can't wait for the next 3 weeks to be over so I can move on to the next phase of kicking the crap out of cancer.

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6 down, 2 to go!

When I lived in New York City, I lived off the 6 train so I thought that this picture was appropriate.  In a way, it is only uptown from here:  2 chemotherapy sessions left.  The end is so close and that makes me happy! 

My friend Mollly accompanied me to chemotherapy today.  She asked if I needed anything from the store and I asked for a big bottle of water (thinking she would get me one of those really tall bottles of Evian).  Instead, she shows up with this:

Sorry Molls, I couldn't figure out how to get you right side up...

Talk about literal. :)   I was told I needed to push water to flush the chemo out of my body and I don't think I was drinking enough.  So my friends have been REALLY pushing me to drink loads of water.  I drank 3/4 of the gallon today -- I pretty much floated home.

My last treatment was really tough.  The Taxol (chemotherapy) makes my body ache like I have the flu and the shot I do to keep my white blood count up makes my bones hurt.  Those coupled together left me in  a lot of pain.  Tylenol was like child's play for what I was feeling.  Thankfully my white blood cell count was really strong this week so I don't have to do my shot tomorrow. And if I need to do a shot next time, I am better prepared to treat the pain (e.g. get some good drugs from my doc).

I'm spending the weekend out in the country visiting with my family.  I think the TLC that I will be getting will definitely help me feel better this time around.

Hope you all have a great weekend.  Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers and good wishes!

Biking Season Has Begun!

This week I signed up to do the Apple Cider Century bike ride at the end of September with my friends Katie Cavarretta, Katie Dorcak and Erin. And because today is an unseasonably warm day in Chicago,  I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take my bike out for the first ride of the season. I love to ride my bike, especially along Chicago's beautiful lakefront path.  Despite all the fatigue I'm feeling, I managed to do 10 miles (at a slow pace but there were some gusty winds today).  It felt great to get out there but I have a lot of training to do this summer to prepare for ACC 2011.  A great excuse for me to keep up with an exercise program that will only increase my odds of survivorship.  TAKE THAT CANCER!

For those of you in the Chicagoland area, I hope you are savoring this beautiful day!

xoxo

It's the final countdown...

Yes, I am a child of the 80's because when I type those words, this is the song that I think of. (Not sure if the video will actually work so you may need to click on this link to hear the song & laugh at the band's hair).

Anyway, today was my 5th chemotherapy. I have to say it feels good to be in the home stretch.  I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Getting half way there was a bit anti-climatic but I'm feeling good about having 5 down and only 3 to go!  My word of the day was hope, which is a pretty powerful one for me.  It was the first time in a while that I have felt this hopeful -- I'm almost done with chemotherapy, I'm feeling pretty good (all things considered) and I just have this powerful feeling that I'm going to come out on top.

I also started Taxol today (a new chemotherapy for me) which  is supposed to be the 'easier' of the two regimens that I'm on; so we'll see how the next few days go. I hope that will be the case. 

I had quite the entourage with me today.  My Aunt Barb, Dad and Katie were there with me during treatment (although I think Katie just wanted me to concentrate on getting her to the next level of Angry Birds).  Regardless, It was nice to have so many cheerleaders by my side.  

After  treatment my Dad, Aunt and I got an early dinner to one of my favorite places -- the Athenian Room.  I love this place because it's just a good neighborhood Greek restaurant.  And because they have a 'vegetarian salad' on the menu that is a dieters dream --- it's a salad with Greek fries on top.  No joke.  That's the most delicious oxymoron I've ever had.  

...and to continue the afternoon of indulgence (and since we were in the neighborhood), we had to stop at Sweet Mandy B's for cupcakes...

Not a bad ending to the day.  I'm going to call it an early night soon.  I don't have much planned for this weekend, just going to rest like I normally do after treatment.  If I'm lucky, I'll get some laundry done. :)

Oh, and tomorrow is opening day for the Chicago Cubs!  GO CUBS GO!  May this be your year!! 

50% Completed!

Rather than spending St. Patrick's day drinking green beer, I was getting my 4th chemotherapy treatment.  While that doesn't sound like the most fun day, I was pretty psyched to get over the half-way hump of chemo!  Thank you Chevy for coming along with me to chemo this round.  And thank you to Christy & Mike for the delicious Irish meal afterwards.

I'm now done with the 'harder' of the chemo regimen (A +C) so hopefully the next four treatments (Taxol) will be a little easier on my body.  I'm actually feeling pretty good this round, which is a surprise because I didn't feel so hot after my last treatment.  The weather in Chicago is finally getting warmer so maybe that has had an impact on my energy level.  I made it out for a walk on Friday and Saturday but today is a rainy spring day so I'm just going to lay low.

I don't have much going on for the week ahead, which is fine by me.  I've been pretty busy the last couple of weeks so I hope to just take advantage of the warmer weather and get out while I can enjoy it.

Thank you all for the support thus far.  I hope the next four treatments fly by so I can have this part of my treatment behind me!

xoxo  

Dinner with Wolfie

Last night I had the pleasure of going to an event where Wolfgang Puck was doing a cooking demonstration!

My friend Molly (who you may not recognize without her tinsel wig) was invited because she's coordinated events at the space where the dinner was held.

It. Was. Awesome.  Wolfie is a very funny guy and made jokes throughout the entire demo.  If I saw him on QVC, I would possibly watch to hear what kind of jokes he would make on live TV.  :)

It was so nice to get out and have a couple glasses of wine (I've really missed wine!) and enjoy an amazing meal.  I feel like I haven't done that in ages.

Here's some pics from our night...

The menu was the same as what Wolfgang served at the Governor's Ball before the Oscars 

First course -- trio of salads 

Second course - Dover Sole....SO GOOD! 

Side of paella with spring vegetables 

Lemon cheesecake for dessert -- so rich and delicious! 

Thanks again, Molly for inviting me! 

3 Down....

Treatment this week...

I've got 3 chemos under my belt!  I'm almost to the half-way point.  My regimen is broken down by two different types of treatment: 4 A + C (Adriamycin and Cytoxin) and 4 Taxol.  From what I understand, A + C is the harder of the two treatments (which is why they front load them) so I'm almost done with the harder stuff.  My word for this treatment this round was "strength" -- God, please grant me the strength to endure chemotherapy and kick cancer's ass! 

My date for chemotherapy was Jamie, a good friend of mine from my days working at NPD.  Thanks for coming with Jamie.  It was fun catching up with you!  

Jamie and I after treatment was done

My new 'do...still an adjustment for me
I'm still getting adjusted to my new 'do.  It's growing on me.  A few people at work (that I don't see regularly) have commented on my new hair cut -- thinking that maybe I just wouldn't lose my hair.  That definitely has made me feel good.  I haven't had the guts to leave my apartment without a wig on yet.  I'm still trying to lead a secret agent double life -- 'normal Heather' when out and about and 'cancer vixen' when at home.  


What I did last weekend...
Last weekend I went home for the first time since Christmas (boy did that time fly).  My mom's best friend, Kathy came over to my aunt's house and we had coffee just like the old days.  For those of you that don't know, my mom and Kathy would have coffee together one to two times a day and our families would just spend hours together chatting.  My aunt made my great grandmother's buttermilk biscuits, one of Kathy's favorites (sorry friends, it's a family recipe that I cannot share) and Kathy brought my donuts from my favorite bakery in Lake Zurich.  It was very nostalgic to have coffee with her and a great way to celebrate my mom's memory.  

Kathy and I also stopped by my dad's house so she could meet the newest puppy in our family, Abby.  She is so adorable and my dad is lucky that I have too  much on my plate because I would like to "borrow" her from him (and perhaps not return).  

My Dad and Abby

  

Abby after getting groomed & wanting a treat.
She's so cute! 

My cousins Rob and Kristi were also at my aunt's last weekend so it was nice to see them. Rob introduced us to Wii Wheel of Fortune and we had a lot of fun playing that!  I'm looking forward to a rematch (preferably when my Aunt Barb doesn't blurt out the answers while it's Rob's turn!).


What's ahead for the week...
It's gonna be a busy week for me!  On Tuesday I have my second monthly Young Survivor's Coalition meeting (which as many of you know is where I met my friend Bonnie).   So I'm looking forward to seeing her and connecting with other young breast cancer survivors.  On Thursday, my friend Molly invited me  to see a Wolfgang Puck cooking demonstration, which I'm pretty excited about.  And then on Friday, we have a team outing and we're going to the Bull's game!  This will be my second Bull's game ever (and twice in one season no less).  


Hope everyone has a great weekend.  Happy MARCH!  I am so excited for spring to arrive! 

What I'm grateful for today

February 25, 2003 was probably the most devastating day of my life.  It was the day my mom died.  It's hard to believe that it's been 8 years since I've heard my mom's voice, laugh or gotten a hug from her.  She was my best friend and I still miss her to this day.  I know the normal succession in life is to have your parents die before you but at 24 years old, I was not ready; my mom was not ready to go either.

In years past, the entire month of February has been a very somber one for me.  I'd like to blame the grey skies of Chicago but I know deep down that it's because February 25th is approaching.  This year has been very different.  Some may imagine that this year would be even harder than in the past but that has not been the case.  With everything else on my plate right now, February 25th honestly snuck up on me.  And I'm not as sad as I've been in the past.  Perhaps this is strange, but I'm feeling hopeful and grateful today.   In general, losing my mom made me a stronger person.  But if I had not lost my mom to this disease, I don't know if I would have been as aggressive as I have.  My mom fought until the very end (she had chemo scheduled the day she died), which not only gives me the strength to endure what I am now facing but I think it has made me even more courageous.  Of course I am sad to have lost my mom, but I am thankful that I share the same determination that she did.    

My new 'do

Today was the ceremonious head shaving.  I was ready for it -- my hair was coming out like crazy and my scalp was tender.  I guess that my hair falling out is a sign that the chemotherapy is working.    I had three very supportive friends with me to witness my transition to the new 'do.  Thank you Katie, Sara and Molly for coming along!

Molly, Katie and Sara were sporting their Flashy Trash wigs in support of my transition

I didn't cry because it was such a relief to be in control and get rid of my hair.   And honesty, how could I cry when I had friends sporting tinsel wigs themselves?  (I almost cried laughing so hard though.)  The ladies at the wig shop called us 'the fun group,' which was quite accurate.  

My new 'do! 

This is my fave pic of the day --
I laughed a lot on a day that may have otherwise been very tough.
Not with these  girls...

A run in my honor

One of my sorority sisters, Carly, is going to be running the Country Music half marathon on April 30th to raise money for Gilda's Club of Nashville.  Gilda's Club is an awesome organization that provides cancer support to everyone touched by cancer (women, men, caregivers, children, etc.).  I have been to the Gilda's Club in Chicago, which is where I met many young women with breast cancer so I am a big supporter of this organization.
 
Carly is going to be running the half marathon in my honor.  If you would like to make a donation to her 13.1 run, go to http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/carly-houston/gildas-gang-2011.

Thank you Carly for dedicating your run to me!

25% complete with chemo

I had my second treatment today, which means I'm a quarter of the way done with chemotherapy. Whoo hoo!









Unfortunately, my hair is beginning to fall out (as I have been expecting it to). I have been pretty bummed out by this but it was helpful to have my friend Katie there to keep my spirits up. She even wore a scarf to be supportive of my soon-to-be hair style. (Thanks Katie! You are a great chemo companion!)




I was also happy to have Bonnie stop by because she literally just went through hair loss (but you would have no idea by how good she looks). I hope I look as good as she does once I get my wig.

The ceremonious hair shaving will be on Monday. In a strange way, I just want to get it over with. It's really hard to see your hair fall out. I know it will grow back but that seems so far away. It will probably take two years to have anything close to what I have now and that feels like an eternity right now. As with all the other changes in my life, I hope that I will adjust to this too. I'm sure I will....

Overall, treatment went pretty well. I'm just planning to take it easy this weekend. It's super warm in Chicago so I hope to get out for a walk and enjoy the weather while I'm feeling good.

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Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day, which I believe is a made up holiday but in the spirit of things, I wanted to do a little shout-out to my favorite Valentine's.  

To my family: I know it's not easy to see me go through this so thank you for being strong.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have family that will be there at a drop of a hat (even though you live far in the country, ha ha).  Thank you for all of your prayers and for supporting my every decision.  

To the Goldman Family: I have always considered you to be a part of my family and am so blessed that I have you in my life. Thank you for being there every step of the way for me.  A & D, thanks for listening to me ramble on and on about stupid cancer.  Our conversations have been hugely helpful in putting my mind at ease.  Sometimes I just need to get those feelings out so I can move on, so thank you for being on the listening end of things.    

To my college girlfriends (Karin, even though we didn't go to college together, I consider you part of this group): Katie, I know you hate this song but this is where the Golden Girls theme song "Thank you for being a friend" would begin.  You girls are my rock and I don't know what I would do without you.  I felt like my life was a roller coaster after my diagnosis and you were there for me when I was too afraid to tell anyone else.  You are an amazing group of women and I am so grateful for our friendship.  

To the past and present NPD girls: I'm so glad that we have remained close after all these years. Who knew that sorority row would stick together as long as we have?   Thank you for listening to me vent, allowing me to cry and helping me to laugh again.  Sometimes a girl just needs a little comic relief and you are not only able to deliver on that but I would also say you over index. Let me know if you need me to create a chart with PCYAs to prove it. :) 

To my family at H&P: I am so fortunate to work with such compassionate and caring people.  You have probably seen me cry the most out of anyone and were not shy about running to my side.  I needed that and thank you for being there.  

To the McCormick Family: We unfortunately have both seen the craptastic things that cancer can do to people but yet you help me be optimistic through this.  And you cook me delicious meals and send me fun notes before chemo (which actually make me look forward to my chemo days).  I love you guys.

To Bonnie: Even though we just met, it brings me such comfort to have someone like you to go through this with.  I look forward to being on the other side of things and celebrating our health together.    

To anyone I have not mentioned but are reading now: I love you too.  Thank you for reading my blog, for your prayers, notes, and support.  I feel like I am surrounded by an army of supporters and it makes me feel incredibly powerful (so powerful that I can kick cancer's ass).      

Busy but good week

It's been a busy week for me....I ventured back to work on Tuesday after finally getting some sleep on Monday night.  After work I made it to my first Young Survival Coalition meeting. This is an organization that is dedicated to supporting breast cancer survivors that were diagnosed in their 20's and 30's.  Basically people just like me!  In a way it is sad to be in a room full of women just like me but it validated a lot of the feelings I have been having and it was comforting to be around women that speak my crazy cancer language.  (Do you think 'cancer' can be considered a foreign language?) There were women of all diagnosis and survivorship stages.  I exchanged information with one person who was diagnosed two weeks after I was and is one week ahead of me in chemo.  I now consider her my cancer BFF (but I haven't told her this yet).  She and I are both triple negative breast cancer, BRCA1 mutation positive and doing the same chemo regimen (4 rounds A+C and 4 rounds Taxol).  And for those of you that don't know what I just said, that's exactly what I mean by speaking my language.  :) Needless to say, she and I  have a lot in common.

Tonight, I went to the American Cancer Society's Look Good Feel Better program that's supposed to help teach about how makeup can help with the loss of eyelashes, eyebrows and skin changes.  It was nice because I got some swag but I didn't learn a ton about makeup (apparently the program isn't designed for girls that would travel with a Caboodles full of makeup at 12 years old).  The best part about it was that my cancer BFF was there too! She was having an awful day and told me that she was relieved that I was there.  I was happy to see a familiar face, myself.

I've got a follow-up appointment with my oncologist tomorrow. I think she just wants to see how my first round of treatment went.  I am feeling good -- pretty much like my normal self, so I hope that is the case in between each treatment.

Signing off to count some sheep.... Stay warm everyone! xoxo

Drain Free!

Drain #4 and I just parted ways. I can't say either of us were too upset by this but we ended things as best as we could.

I was, however, a little sad to say good-bye (for now) to the staff at Dr. G's office. I won't be seeing them until after I'm done with radiation. :( While I am sad about that, I will am celebrate being drain free! At least I will have reconstruction to look forward to.

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I think I can handle this...

I can now say with confidence that the anxiety before chemotherapy is far worse than the actual side effects.  Disclosure -- I can only say this for my regimen.  I'm sure there are others may not be as 'easy'. And honestly who knows how it will go with the treatments compounding.  But for now, nausea is very well controlled with a number of different drugs;  the only downfall is that they are mostly steroid based which does not help me sleep at night.  Despite being on some sleepy-time drugs, I was up from 3-5 a.m. and 3-6 a.m. the last two nights.  While I was able to get a full 5 or 6 hours of sleep, that is just not enough for me so I'm sure that doesn't help with the fatigue I was feeling yesterday or today.  So, I've just been listening to my body and taking it really easy (and napping when needed).

My hair will start to fall out with the next treatment and I'm sure that will be hard for me but I have a great wig and some cute hats to accompany my bald head.  I expect to look a little like this again....

Aliza and I are the same exact age here (actually, I am  a month older).
She is on the left with a full head of hair & I am bald.
I guess I've been preparing my whole life for this.  Haha.  At least it will grow back!  

Speaking of Aliza, I had an AMAZING weekend with her.  We didn't do very much but it was so comforting to have her here for my first treatment.  Thank you again for making the schlep from Boston, A.  Love ya!

Drain #4 and I are getting ready to part ways.  Output has slowed down considerably, which is fantastic.  We are beginning to say our good-byes.  I have an appointment on Wednesday to have it removed.  I can't wait!

Meme's Chicken & Dumplings

The finished product

This is a total comfort food for me. Whenever I would visit my grandma (Meme), she would have a pot of chicken and dumplings on the stove for me. And, whenever I was sick, this is what my mom would make for me. The dumplings are a little easier to make because they are drop dumplings (requires no dough rolling like the Art Smith ones). Try out both recipes and let me know which ones you like best!

Stock:

• one 3 to 3.5 lb chicken, cut into 8 pieces
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 celery ribs, chopped
• 4 carrots, sliced into rounds (I like carrots in my soup)
• 2 1/2 quarts water
• 2 - 3 bay leaves 
• salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Dumplings:

• 2 cups of flour
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 beaten eggs
• milk to moisten the dough (I estimate we used about 3/4 - 1 cup of milk; will all depend on how dry your flour is)

Saute onion, celery and carrots in dutch oven until softened. Add chicken, water 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/4 tsp pepper. Bring to boil over high heat, skimming off any foam that rises to the surface. Reduce heat to low and cover tightly. Simmer, occasionally skimming broth, until chicken is tender, about 50 minutes.

Using tongs, transfer chicken to platter (keep the broth and veg simmering) and allow chicken to cool until it's easy to handle. Discard skin and bones and cut meat into bite sized pieces.

Increase the heat of the stock and vegetables until it reaches a boil. Mix the ingredients together for the dumplings. The dough will be moist and think. Use two spoons to drop the dumplings into the stock mixture, making the dumplings about the size of a tablespoon (they will get larger in the broth). Cook for 20 minutes with the pot half covered. Stir the chicken back into the pot, add fresh parsley and allow to simmer for 5 minutes. Then, enjoy!

My Meme's Chicken & Dumplings

I'm either a 3rd or 4th generation chicken & dumpling maker. This is what my Meme's dumplings would look like (they are drop dumplings instead of rolled).

Dumplings are cooking! 

I'm using the same stock recipe as the Art Smith one I posted earlier and will post the dumpling recipe later.

I feel like I have my mom and Meme in the kitchen with me. It smells so wonderful! Can't wait to eat! Bon Appetit to Aliza, Katie and I!

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So far -- kicking chemo's ass

I may be speaking a little too soon but so far I'm feeling pretty normal.  Yesterday I was feeling a little hyped up from the steroids they gave me to help keep the nausea at bay.  Consequently it gave me a little insomnia last night, but what else is new?

I went back to the oncologist's office this morning to get a shot that will help to keep my my white blood cell counts up.  Hopefully that additional precaution will help me to maintain a strong immune system and keep me on my planned chemo schedule.

Now, what blog post would be complete without an update on #4?  I'm happy to report that my drainage was under 50 cc's yesterday (the first time it had been under 65 cc's in 6 days).  And I'm seeing signs that drainage is continuing to slow.  So, great news on the drain-front.  I hope that I will be able to have this drain removed next week.  (Keep prayers coming for that though.)

One down, seven to go

I was finally approved for chemo and got started. I'm sitting in the chair now just chillin'. The nurses here have been very nice and I've got lots of reading material (NYT if I want to look smart and People to catch up on the latest celebrity gossip.)





Two of my biggest fans are here with me, Dad & Aunt Barb.




While I know the chemo will make me feel a little under the weather and make me bald and lord knows what other side effects, here's a reminder that this is actually helping me...




Thanks for all your prayers and support. I'm very happy to report that I've finally got one under my belt.

Tomorrow is a go!

Neither snow nor drainage is going to stop me from getting chemotherapy tomorrow! I ventured into the blizzard today and saw Dr. G. I have his seal of approval as well as Regina's (my oncologist) to begin treatment.

Speaking of the blizzard, here are some pics of my adventures outside.

Snow bank by the bus stop...








A very quiet Michigan Avenue...








My street (which doesn't actually look so bad but this was before it started snowing again)...








Please pray that my draining stops and the side effects of chemo aren't as bad as I'm expecting them to be. Also pray that my cousin, Aliza, is able to make it in from Boston tomorrow. She's making a special trip this weekend to help me out and I really want to see her.

Be safe and stay warm in this crazy weather!

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The Blanket Ladies

I received a very warm (literally) and thoughtful gift when I arrived in the office on Monday. My colleague's mom works at a senior center in Northfield and there are a group of women, The Blanket Ladies, that make blankets for patients undergoing chemotherapy.  I was so touched!  And what perfect timing when I'm heading into chemo right after Chicago's snowpocalypse! Thanks Blanket Ladies for your kindness! 

There was just a lovely article in the Chicago Sun-Times about The Blanket Ladies. (Click here to read more about them.) 

Stay warm and safe everyone!

Puppy Love & Energizer Bunnies

There is a new addition to the Davis family.  My Dad & Betty adopted a young rottweiler, Abby.  She was a stray that came from Missouri and was living in a foster home near Bloomington-Normal.  I somehow managed to convince my Dad to swing by my apartment so I could meet the new pup.  She is so sweet!  She looks a lot like Lily but her personality reminded me of Rose.  It just made my day to meet the new pup!  (But then I made me REALLY want one.)  Guess I'll have to live vicariously through my Dad...

 

And a little drain update: no change.  #4 is seriously like the Energizer Bunny -- it keeps going, and going, and going.... 

Dr. G gave me the green light to start chemo on Thursday despite the fact that I'm still draining.  So, in addition to the prayers that you are all sending my way when I start chemo, please pray that this draining comes to an end so I don't have any complications or infections as a result of still having a drain.

xoxo  

Enough is enough, Drain #4

I am so over #4.  Today was 65 ccs, not even close to being under 30 like I need it to be.  Although, my oncologist said that we would proceed with chemo next week regardless of the drain situation.  We'll see what Dr. G says about that  -- I'll let them sort that out if he still disagrees.

I'm just so frustrated with this stupid thing. It doesn't hurt -- it's just a nuisance.  I can't wait until it's out and I can wear whatever I want to and not have to worry about how I'm going to hide this stupid drain.

As my brother said, "Come on #4, retire like Brett Favre already!"  
I couldn't have said it better...

Drainage Update

I went to see Dr. G today (my plastic surgeon) and the good news is, I had the stitches removed from my incisions and they filled up the expanders up a bit more.  The disappointing news is, (as I posted yesterday) I'm still not seeing #4 slow down.  The doctor hopes that by continuing to fill the expanders, it will close off where the drainage is coming from so the plan is to fill me up twice a week.  At this point, I doubt chemotherapy will happen this week unless something dramatically changes in the next 24 hours.

Drain, Drain -- Go Away!

The last remaining drain (#4 for those of you that are familiar with my post-op drains) is showing no signs of slowing.  I don't know what the doctor is going to say when I see him tomorrow.

Being someone who lives in Excel and PowerPoint charts, I made a little trend line of what's going on here.  Ideally, we would like to see drain #4 act as the other drains did, gradually dropping off.  But unfortunately it looks as if drain #4 would like to reside in my body and hoover around 50-60 cc's a day. Super lame drain.

I'll let you know what Dr. G says about resolving this.  I would like to get chemo started this week but I don't know if that's going to happen at the rate the drainage is going.